Tonda with her new dreadlocks.
Well, I’m doing it. Right now. I am at the salon having my hair teased, twisted, and permed into dreadlocks. I have been waiting a year for this, growing my hair out to six inches in length. It was with dread and excitement that I made the appointment with the Hair Police salon. Was this a stupid thing to do? Does it have anything to do with the fact that I turn 60 this summer?
My husband worries that it will be bad for my business as a Collaborative Divorce attorney. My youngest child is appalled. My two older children say go for it. My colleagues are vicariously fascinated. What will my clients think? Will they take me seriously? Will they want me to share with them their journey through divorce?
My feelings are insignificant and yet similar to feelings my clients feel as they make the decision to end their marriage. Many struggle with the decision for years. It is with dread that they make the decision to start the divorce. It will affect their spouse; it will affect their children. It will affect their family and friends. The change will be momentous for all family members.
For some couples, they approach their divorce together; with dread but also with a promise for the future that change provides. For other couples, one spouse feels forced to undertake the divorce journey whether they want it or not. For this spouse the trepidation can overwhelm any hope for the future. But as with all change, there is always hope and opportunities. By using a collaborative process for their divorce, couples can be supported to find the hope, the opportunity and the excitement that this change offers.
For me, a change in hairdo, especially a change as strange as dreadlocks, is exciting, daring, liberating and refreshing. Life after dreadlocks is something to look forward to.
