One of the reasons that divorce is such a challenging life transition is its public nature. A couple might keep their problems private as they try to work through them. But if a rift opens that can’t be mended, the couple will have to share some very difficult news with friends and family as they separate from one another.
Few of us will have to reveal emotional personal issues to as wide an audience as Jeff and MacKenzie Bezos recently did. The statement that Jeff released on Twitter suggests that he and MacKenzie are trying to make their split as amicable as possible by usin three insightful ideas that could help anyone struggling through a divorce.
- Be open and honest with those closest to you.
“We want to make people aware of a development in our lives. As our family and close friends know, after a long period of loving exploration and trial separation, we have decided to divorce and continue our shared lives as friends.”
Couples need privacy as they deal with strains on their marriage. But once a decision is made, clear communication with your family, friends, and each other will be very important. That goes double if any young children are in the picture.
The more open a couple is about what’s happening, the easier it will be for you to find the outside support that will help you through this transition. Good dialogue might also help you and your former spouse to focus on the essential tasks at hand, like dividing your assets and updating your essential estate planning documents.
- Be grateful.
“We feel incredibly lucky to have found each other and deeply grateful for every one of the years we have been married to each other. If we had known we would separate after 25 years, we would do it all again.”
Shame, embarrassment, and guilt are common feelings associated with divorce. Playing the blame game or trying to “win” the divorce can quickly turn all those amicable best intentions into bitter personal and legal issues.
Instead, the Bezos statement is a reminder that the end of a marriage – especially a long one – doesn’t erase all of the positive things that came before it. If an amicable divorce is possible in your particular situation, then don’t be ashamed or embarrassed. Cherish those precious shared experiences, like the birth of children, happy vacation memories, the difficult times you helped each other through. Embracing these feelings of gratitude will help ease both you and your partner through this process.
- Focus on the positives ahead.
“We’ve had such a great life together as a married couple, and we also see wonderful futures ahead, as parents, friends, partners and ventures and projects, and as individuals pursuing ventures and adventures.”
When we work through the $Lifeline exercise, we emphasis that important transitions like retirement, children graduating, weddings, and yes, divorces, are ends in one respect, but also new beginnings. They’re the start of new chapters in your life.
That might be difficult to see when the pain of a divorce is still raw. But it’s important to open yourself up to new opportunities when they present themselves. You’re about to start your single life all over again. And yes, it’s scary. It may not be what you wanted. And you may be bitter. But over time, you may be able to see what awaits you on the other end. It could be traveling that you’ve longed for. Maybe you’ll relocate, start a new career, begin new hobbies, and meet new people. You might have more financial resources at your disposal to explore solo than you did when you were younger and unmarried. And you might approach these experiences with a more mature and grateful perspective, enjoying every minute just a little bit more fully.
We want to help you through all of life’s major transitions, the positives as well as the challenges. If there’s change on the horizon, make an appointment to come in and review the $Lifeline exercise with us. We can help you plan ahead so that the next chapter of your life is the most fulfilling yet.
It’s important for divorcees to review and adjust their W-4 payroll withholding or start to make quarterly tax estimates following their divorce. Often, they are so relieved to have reached settlement, they fail to think about these housekeeping items.
If divorced in 2018, this is especially important if transferring taxable spousal maintenance. The payor spouse can likely change their payroll withholding to increase their net income. The payee spouse will need to withhold additional tax dollars on their salary or make quarterly estimated tax payments, to account for taxes on the spousal maintenance payments received.
If the payor spouse doesn’t adjust their W-4, they may not be able to meet their budget during the year and would probably receive a large tax refund when taxes are filed. If the payee spouse doesn’t adjust their W-4 or start quarterly estimated taxes, they could have a large tax liability when they file their return.
Even if there isn’t taxable spousal maintenance, individuals still may need to adjust their withholding. Things that can impact taxes and often require an adjustment are a change in their filing status, pre- tax payroll deductions (retirement contributions, health savings account, health insurance premiums), and itemized deductions such as real estate taxes and mortgage interest.
Making these adjustments now will help cash flow match what was projected during the divorce process and save the headache later of a tax surprise. 
It’s that time of year again, when the trees become bare and days grow short, that one’s thoughts turn to health insurance. That’s right, the open enrollment window for renewing your existing health insurance plan or shopping for a new plan opens November 1st and runs through December 15th, 2018.
For Minnesota residents, shopping for insurance means contacting a health insurance broker to get help in comparing different plans. Or, for those whose income qualifies them for financial help, applying and enrolling on the MNSure website. For those who live in states without their own exchange, plans can be compared on HeathCare.gov, the federal government’s national exchange site.
Choosing the right health insurance plan depends on your family’s health and understanding which cost-sharing arrangement works best for you. The cost-sharing arrangement is how much you want to pay monthly for the insurance premium plus how much you are comfortable paying out-of-pocket for a doctor’s visit or medical procedure. You can pay less on a monthly basis for your premium if you are willing to pay more out of pocket for a doctor’s visit or medical procedure.
The most prominent cost-sharing component is the plan deductible. This is the amount you pay every year before the insurance company pays its first dollar. Choosing a lower deductible amount and pushing the costs onto the insurance company sooner will result in a higher premium. By choosing the maximum deductible allowed, $7,900 for individual plans and $15,800 for a family plans in 2019, you will pay a lower monthly premium. Picking a high deductible plan with a lower premium may make sense for a healthy person who never needs health services, as well as someone comfortable with paying the out-of-pocket amount.
Other ways that insurance plans share the cost is with co-pays and coinsurance. A copay is a fixed dollar amount that you pay every time you visit the doctor. That amount may be $30 with a typical insurance plan but it will be lower or possibly waived for a more expensive plan. Coinsurance is where the cost of a medical procedure is shared. The typical coinsurance arrangement kicks in after you meet the deductible amount. Then, you pay 20%, for example, of costs until you reach the maximum out-of-pocket limit amount.
Finally, the out-of-pocket limit is the maximum amount that you will pay. It is the sum of the deductible plus the copays or coinsurance that you pay in any given year. Once you hit this limit, the insurance company pays 100% thereafter. This amount is established each year by the government as part of the Affordable Care Act. As noted above, for 2019, the maximums are $7,900 for individual plans and $15,800 for family plans.
Once you understand how cost-sharing works, the cost difference between plans comes down to the services and prescription drugs that the plans cover. All plans are required to cover emergency services, hospitalization and maternity care, as well as mental health and substance-abuse treatment, at a basic level. All plans also cover the cost of an annual check-up and preventive care services (such as immunizations and mammograms) with any level of deductible. More expensive plans will also cover a greater level of preventative services, and higher levels of service, such as brand name drug coverage instead of generic-only drug coverage.
So, as you rake up the leaves and pull out the winter coats, take time to review your health insurance plan because health insurance season will soon be here! 
Divorce has a way of completely upsetting one’s expectations for the future. One day things are moving along just fine, and the next you are making decisions that will impact the rest of your life. One of the big decisions is whether or not to keep the family home. It may really be two questions: “Should I keep the house?” and “Can I keep the house?”. Let’s consider both in turn.
Whether you “should” keep the home is more of an emotional question. What does the home represent to you? Often it is an emotional safe haven full of good memories that you have spent years getting just right. It could also be an emotional roadblock to moving forward with your life.
“Can I keep the house?” is more of a financial question. Will your income post-divorce allow you to maintain the house? Will taking the house in the divorce mean forgoing other marital assets such as retirement accounts, that may be more valuable in the long run? Perhaps keeping the house will require keeping your ex-spouse as co-owner, do you want that?
Due to its functionality, your house is an asset different from a stock or retirement account. So, in many cases, the decision is a compromise focused on the question: “How long should I stay in the house?”.
If you are unsure of the best way to handle the house, there are 3 exercises that you should go through to determine your best decision or when you should expect to sell.