- Two Homes by Claire Masurel and Kady MacDonald Denton (ages 3 to 7)
- It’s Not Your Fault, Koko Bear: A Read-Together Book for Parents and Young Children During Divorce by Vicki Lansky (ages 3 to 7 and parents)
- My Family’s Changing by Pat Thomas (ages 4 and up)
- Was It the Chocolate Pudding?: A Story for Little Kids About Divorce by Sandra Levins and Bryan Langdo (ages 4 and up)
- The Family Book by Todd Parr (ages 4 to 6)
- When My Parents Forgot How to Be Friends (Let’s Talk About It!) by Jennifer Moore-Mallinos and Marta Fabrega (ages 4 to 7)
- Dinosaurs Divorce (A Guide for Changing Families) by Marc Brown and Laurie Krasny Brown (ages 4 to 8)
- Let’s Talk About It: Divorce by Fred Rogers (ages 4 to 8)
- Mama and Daddy Bear’s Divorce by Cornelia Maude Spelman (ages 4 to 8)
- The Days of Summer by Eve Bunting (ages 5 to 8)
- I Don’t Want to Talk About It by Jeanie Franz Ransom and Kathryn Kunz Finney (ages 5 and up)
- Divorce is Not the End of the World: Zoe and Evan’s Coping Guide for Kids by Zoe Stern and Evan Stern (ages 8 to 12)
- Rope Burn by Jan Siebold (ages 9 to 12)
- A Smart Girl’s Guide to Her Parents’ Divorce: How to Land on Your Feet When Your World Turns Upside Down by Nancy Holyoke (ages 9 to 12)
- What Can I Do? A Book for Children of Divorce by Danielle Lowry (ages 9 and up)
- The Divorce Express by Paula Danzinger (teens through young adults) library as well.
As a society, we are inclined to attach shorthand labels to everything from parenting (Tiger Mom, Soccer Mom, Helicopter Parents) to politics (Red States and Blue States, the War on Drugs). It’s a function of our human brains that we are wired to categorize concepts in order to make sense of the world, but sometimes it feels like we’ve put this tendency on steroids. Too often people assume a label is sufficient to explain complex social phenomena (Obamacare, the Arab Spring) or to fully define an individual or group of people (Boomers, Gen X’ers, Millenials). We confuse sound bites with explanations. Think about the times you’ve seen two shorthand labels in a headline, maybe with a “vs.” in between, and believed there was no need to read further to understand the situation (Israeli vs. Palestinian conflict). It is easy to become polarized instead of thoughtful, rigid instead of nuanced.
I recently attended the Fetzer Symposium, a multidisciplinary gathering of Collaborative professionals, mediators, judges and others whose professional lives have been devoted to creativity and healing. Each of the fifty participants was there because they were attracted to the theme: “Divorce: What does Love have to do With It?” A rich tapestry of conversations, ideas and initiatives was created. Professional labels just weren’t that important—-everyone there was committed to reducing conflict in divorce. I thought of the tendency we have to label family law processes and sometimes pit them against each other (collaborative vs. cooperative vs. adversarial vs. mediated vs. litigated). Not only does it waste precious energy and create unnecessary conflict to oppose someone based solely on the label attached to their work, such animosity can also prevent us from looking further, going past the label to find our common values in helping families through crisis. There is plenty of room at the family law table. I felt honored and hopeful to be among so many family law professionals of all stripes who have earned the right to add peacemaking to other adjectives describing their work, not as a shorthand label but as an invitation to go beyond the label.- Unique child support or expense sharing arrangements based on historical costs/expenses
- Tax consequences of support options and property division
- Creative financing options for a second home (or two new homes)
- Parenting plan that addresses communication about the children, introduction of significant others, in addition to parenting schedules
- Tracing of non-marital property (pre-marriage ownership, inheritances, gifts, etc.)
- Maximizing property for both spouses