187816521-father-and-daughter-walking-in-the-park-gettyimagesIn my work with families making the shift from one to two households for their children, I often remind parents that transitions between homes are typically bothersome for kids.  I use the personal example of going on vacation to explain…
485221929-woman-sitting-on-sofa-and-thinking-gettyimagesSeveral experiences this past weekend got me thinking about the meaning of a true apology.  On Sunday, I read Gail Rosenblum’s column in the Star Tribune about whether women, in particular, are socially conditioned to say “I’m sorry” too often. …
133791230-tin-can-communication-gettyimagesListening to the voice of the child is increasingly becoming a mainstream concept in family law.  This is a welcome development, as careful attunement to children’s perspectives and needs can guide resolutions and parenting plans that are truly in the…
486417833-hope-they-work-it-out-gettyimagesHere are five suggestions for how divorcing parents can provide support to their children in the new year: 1.  Keep expectations realistic.  Children go through a grieving process just as their parents do when the marriage ends.  Their energy and…
Some time ago I wrote about The Four Agreements from a book by the same name by Don Miguel Ruiz. Ruiz believes we can stay out of conflict if each person makes the following agreements with him or herself: 1. …
51MfVDOlEkL._SX338_BO1,204,203,200_In his book about how to avoid human conflict, Don Miguel Ruiz suggests these four agreements that a person makes with himself or herself: 1.  I will be impeccable with my word. 2.  I will not personalize the anything the…
0In his book The Four Agreements, author Don Miguel Ruiz articulates four principles which, when regularly practiced, will enable people to avoid conflict and live a peaceful life. The agreements one makes with oneself are: 1.  I will be impeccable…
collaborative divorce optionsDivorce is a challenging life experience for children, and parents worry what the impact will be on their children’s lives.  Based on my work with families of divorce, I have three specific suggestions for how parents can empathetically support their…

71926831-woman-at-desk-looking-at-photograph-gettyimagesOn lists of life stressors, divorce is usually ranked among the top two or three most emotionally challenging events. The process itself is experienced as highly stressful by many people, and from what we know about recovery from profound loss, …

507851475-unhappy-three-year-old-girl-in-bedroom-gettyimagesToday I met with two very attuned and caring parents who have, after many efforts at repair,  made the decision to end their marriage. Topmost on their list of concerns was the impact their divorce might have on their children,…