Register here

Date: Wednesday, April 17, 2024
Time: 4:00 PM – 6:00 PM
Location: Urban Growler, 2325 Endicott St., St. Paul, MN 55114
Description: Social event designed to welcome new(er) CLI members and share the ins and outs of Collaborative Practice with professionals interested in CLI and adding Collaborative work to their practices.
Fee: No fee to attend, but please RSVP so we know you will be attending!
Who should attend:
New members
Professionals working in Family Law that are interested in learning more about Collaborative Practice.
Students currently enrolled in a law school or a graduate/professional training program.
Those who enjoy meeting people and talking about Collaborative Practice.
All Members of CLI!

Questions? Contact:
Public Education Committee Chair: Angela Heart | angela@heartlaw.net
Membership Committee Chair: Brian Burns | burnstherapy@gmail.com
For questions on registration contact: Sandy Beeson | cli@collaborativelaw.org

Register here

Presentation Date: Thursday, April 25, 2024
Title: Navigating Social Security Benefits in Divorce and Retirement
Presenter: Mike Miller, CFP®
763.201.1390 | mike@integrashieldfinancial.com
Website: www.integrashieldfinancial.com
Description of Program:
This training will focus on helping attorneys improve their knowledge and understanding of Social Security and how divorce and retirement will impact their clients’ potential benefits.
We will briefly discuss the history of Social Security and its expansion in 1939. We will look at the value of Social Security and the application of Cost-of-Living Increases over time.
There will be a special focus on Social Security spousal benefits, divorced spouse benefits, survivor benefits and divorced survivor benefits including the requirements to qualify for these benefits. Though these benefits apply to all ages they are especially impactful in gray divorces.
Taxation of Social Security benefits will be discussed along with the unique provisions of the Windfall Elimination Provision and the Government Pension Offset.
We will briefly discuss Income Related Monthly Adjustment Amounts for Part B Medicare Premiums and exceptions for life changing events such as divorce.
Time:
11:30 AM Attendees arrive/Lunch served
11:50 AM Announcements and introductions
12:00 PM – 1:00 PM Presentation
Location: 3300 Edinborough Way, Edina, MN 55435, 1st Floor Training Room
Cost:
CLI Members and non-members: $25
CLI Student Members and CLI Emeritus Members: $10
Annual Partners: $0
Continuing Education:
1.0 credit PENDING MN CLE
Certificate of attendance for self-filing for MN Board of Psychology, LMFT, LICSW & ADR.
Cancellation: Refunds for registration will be processed if notice of cancellation is received by 4/18/24.
Who Should Attend: CLI Members, Family Law Professionals
Educational Level: Overview
Training Committee Chairs:
Louise Livesay-Al | louise@livesaylawoffice.com
Rebecca Randen | rebecca@rcglawoffice.com
For questions on registration contact: Sandy Beeson: cli@collaborativlaw.org

Forum Registration

Every December our Collaborative community has a wonderful opportunity to gather for our Annual Forum.
The Forum is a time and place to connect with colleagues, become informed and educated about important professional topics, regenerate our passion and enthusiasm for our Collaborative work, and have fun!
You won’t want to miss this opportunity. We so look forward to seeing you and hope you will join us!

Event Details:
What: CLI Minnesota Forum 2023
Theme: Creativity in Collaborative Practice
Dates & Times:
Thursday, December 7, 2023
8:30 AM – 4:15 PM Educational sessions, time with exhibitors
3:15 PM Special Breakout session for students and non-member professionals to learn more about Collaborative Practice.
4:15 PM Happy Hour
6:00 PM Dinner
7:30 PM AJW Fun Factor
Friday, December 8, 2023
8:30 AM – 12:00 PM Annual Meeting, educational sessions
Full Agenda: Click here
Location: InterContinental Saint Paul Riverfront Hotel |11Kellogg Blvd. East, Saint Paul, MN 55101
Menu:
BREAKFAST BOTH DAYS: Continental
LUNCH THURSDAY: Sandwich Shop Buffet:
DESSERT BUFFET: Cookies and bars
HAPPY HOUR APPETIZERS and CASH BAR
DINNER: Baby Beet and Arugula Salad with Candied Walnuts: Creamy Goat Cheese, Citrus, Orange-Vanilla Vinaigrette.
Choice of:
Sautéed Salmon | Paella Rice, Meyer Lemon Sabayon
Seared Chicken | Natural Pan Sauce, Smoked Gouda Mashed Potato
Butternut Squash Ravioli | Mascarpone Sage Cream Sauce, Sauteed Spinach, Balsamic Reduction
Dessert: Lemon Tart
Cost:
CLI members must login to their online account to receive member pricing.

ALL PACKAGES WITH HOTEL ROOMS ARE SOLD OUT.
PLEASE REGISTER WITOUT HOTEL AND CONTACT THE HOTEL DIRECTLY FOR AVAILABILITY OF A ROOM.

Both Days, with overnight, with dinner: SOLD OUT 

Both days, no overnight, with dinner:
Includes both Thursday & Friday
Includes Thursday Lunch & Dinner
Includes Thursday Evening Entertainment
Member: $375
Non-member: $450

Both days, no overnight, no dinner:
Includes both Thursday & Friday
Includes Thursday Lunch
Includes Thursday Evening Entertainment
Member: $350
Non-member: $425

Thursday only, with overnight, with dinner: SOLD OUT

Thursday only, no overnight, with dinner:
Includes Thursday
Includes Thursday Lunch & Dinner
Includes Thursday Evening Entertainment
Member: $225
Non-member: $300

Thursday only, no overnight, no dinner:
Includes Thursday
Includes Thursday lunch
Member: $175
Non-member: $250

Thursday dinner only
Member: $50
Non-member: $75

Friday Only:
Includes Friday
Member: $100
Non-member: $175

Continuing Education: (See agenda for specific credits)
CLE: Standard (X) credits pending
LMFT & MN Board of Psychology: Standard credits (X) pending
LICSW & ADR: A self-filing certificate will be provided (X possible)

Special Breakout Session for Students and Family Law Professionals
Thursday 3:15 PM | CLICK HERE TO RSVP FOR THIS SESSION ONLY
A special opportunity for Students and non-member professionals interested in learning about Collaborative Practice.
Registrants for this special session are invited to stay for the networking happy hour following the informational session, and for the add-on cost of $30, stay for dinner.
Cost for Students and non-CLI member professionals to attend the
3:15 PM Breakout Session: 
Attend the 3:15 Breakout Session & happy hour: $0
Dinner add-on: $30

 Deadlines, Cancellations, Parking:
-Deadline for registration with a hotel room is November 24.
-We can only guarantee an overnight room at the Hotel for the first 35 registrants, so please register EARLY!
-The deadline for Forum registration without a hotel is November 28.
-Refunds for Forum registration cancellation will be processed if notice of cancellation is received on or before November 17.
-While the room rate is included in the Forum attendance fee, attendees will be responsible for incidental charges to their reserved room.
-Hotel check-in is 3PM. Luggage may be checked with the valet.
-Check-out time is 11AM.
-Parking: Parking is available through the valet service at prevailing rates or nearby surface lots.

 Agenda: Click here
Sponsorship Packages available Click here

Sponsors Supporting the CLI Mission and Forum 2023
Annual Platinum Partner
Rainbow Mortgage, Inc. www.rainbowmortgageinc.com | Dave Jamison

Annual Gold Partners
OurFamilyWizard www.ourfamilywizard.com | Racheal Howitz

Keller Williams Integrity Realty www.pickle.properties | Lisa Proechel

The Prudden Company www.pruddencompany.com | Amber Tyrrell

Annual Silver Sponsors
Baker Vicchiollo Law LLC www.mnlaw.us | Jolene Baker Vicchiollo

CrossCountry Mortgage, LLC www.crosscountrymortgage.com/brett-leschinsky Brett Leschinsky

Edina Realty www.edinarealty.com/jennifer-morris-realtor# | Jennifer Morris

Sponsors Supporting the Forum 2023

Forum Breakfast Sponsor
The Katallasso Group www.thekatallassogroup.com | Lisa Welter

Forum Lunch Sponsor
Cultivating Joy www.cultivatingjoycoach.com | Jillian Lydell

Forum Dessert Sponsor
Family Law Software www.familylawsoftware.com| Nancy Shafer

Forum Charging Station
Alerus Mortgage www.RandiLivon.com | Randi Livon

Forum Materials Packet
Lear Appraisals, LLC learappraisals@popp.net | Bob Lear

Forum Happy Hour Sponsor
Thomson Reuters www.ThomsonReuters.com | Ryan Tauer & Steve Stauff

Forum Evening Social Sponsor
AJW Financial, Inc. www.ajwfinancial.com  | Amy Wolff

This Course is revolutionary training to stabilize the inner aspects of collaboration. If and when a participant “understands’ and is willing to make the non-dual paradigm shift, universal love is naturally always present for them for collaborative work without effort to maintain it.  This inner power of love works then with the outer aspects of collaboration to enhance collaborative practice for the clients. Details and registration at Click here

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adult-apple-business-276549Have you ever wondered about how to do something that felt daunting but maybe not super complicated (baking a perfect soufflé, building a patio, learning to golf) and decided to follow the advice to “Just look on YouTube!”  So you find several videos on YouTube, select the one in your language, and set off to do this thing on your own.  How difficult could it be? The Catch:  It’s generally harder than it looks on YouTube Those demonstrations are done by people with lots of experience and expertise, who make it seem effortless.  And this will be the first time you’re doing this.  Perhaps all will go well,  but if it does not, your understandable reactions could include:  “Why didn’t anybody tell me soufflés need different baking times and temperatures at different altitudes!  How many times will I have to experiment to get this right?” “What am I supposed to do now?  I hit a big tree root while digging the patio foundation?” “Golf has a lot of moving parts!  I really do need lessons.” Because we don’t know what we don’t know, getting the right kind of specialized or expert help at the beginning of a project can be very valuable, can save time and expense and will help prevent frustration and anxiety. What Does this Have to do with Divorce? When ending a marriage, many couples hope to minimize conflict, expense and time by choosing an uncontested divorce process.  These range from DIY divorces using down-loadable forms to hiring professionals who do alternative or out-of-court dispute resolution.  I am one of those professionals, a neutral child specialist who assists parents and children in a variety of ways during the transition from marriage to getting unmarried.  Though I can work with any process, I often work on Collaborative Practice teams offering respectful, out of court, problem solving support for the legal, financial, relationship and parenting issues that are part of a divorce.  Those of us doing this work know that there can be complications, unexpected issues, lots of moving parts, and pieces of information not necessarily available to the general public about how laws work.   We especially like to help families at the beginning, to set people up for success. I know there are many couples who do not need or want professional services to have a respectful and equitable divorce, and I wish them all the best!  But if it becomes more complicated than it appeared on YouTube, please do not hesitate to call.  
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blog picWhile researching for this post, I came across a number of divorce-related blogs.  The blog medium provides an efficient and concise opportunity to share information and educate the public.  This blog focuses on the collaborative process — where clients commit to an out-of-court, non–adversarial process. Here are some other blogs that may provide additional information as you navigate the divorce process:
  • Jeff Landers writes in Forbes Magazine about complex financial issues that women face in divorce.  He is a Certified Divorce Financial Planner who has extensive experience with high asset divorces.  His blog is informative and financially savvy.
  • Divorced Girl Smiling is a personal blog written by a woman during – and now after her divorce.  It is a personal account of her experience, as well as a gathering of resources for others who may be going through the same thing.  The archived blogs provide a great path through the litigation process, and provides some insight into why a non-adversarial approach may be better.
However you choose to get advice, being armed with information and prepared for the process can help you feel confident and ready for the transitions that come with divorce. There is a lot of information available online, if you know where to find it.
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482143431-thought-bubbles-above-frustrated-couple-gettyimagesIn an election year, we are exposed to an abundance of rhetoric.  As candidates debate and advertise to convince people to vote for them, I listen for words reflecting respect, dignity, the ability to listen deeply and the capacity to work effectively with those who may hold different beliefs. High conflict resulting in governmental gridlock puts people at risk, especially those who are most vulnerable. Yet listening to potential leaders, I hear repeated versions of  “I will never compromise.” Though this may be intended to project strength and resolution, does it not also sound rigid and contentious? What human values does this type of rhetoric represent? How expensive in time, money and emotional resources does endless gridlock become for the people depending on resolution? Divorcing parents are faced with the necessity to make many decisions affecting the future of their family. Their children are the most vulnerable family members, counting on their parents to work things out. What happens to children when their parents disagree and then refuse to compromise? When parents become rigid and disrespectful of each other, how does the ensuing gridlock impact their children? How expensive in time, money and emotional resources does this process become? Collaborative Practice is a method of alternative dispute resolution incorporating the values of respect, honesty and fairness. From the beginning of the process, clients are supported by their attorneys and by neutral professionals on their team to engage in interest-based negotiation to ensure both parents’ true concerns are heard, rather than positional negotiation that can easily lead to heightened conflict and expensive gridlock. For more information about how Collaborative Practice might work for your family, please check out the website of the Collaborative Law Institute of Minnesota.
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BLD077218In the Twin Cities, many family law attorneys offer a free consultation to learn about your options.  This is a time to meet your potential new attorney and ask your questions.  The consultation can serve three main purposes. First, you can learn about your divorce options.  There are four general processes for divorce:
  1. pro se/unrepresented where you go through the process without legal guidance;
  2. mediation where a neutral third party helps you come up with the agreements;
  3. collaborative divorce where both parties commit to a respectful out of court process with lawyers and other professionals guiding the process; and
  4. litigation, the court-based traditional process.  A good consultation should educate you on all of these options.
Second, the consultation allows you to learn some basic information about the issues in a divorce.  The attorney can discuss the main legal issues that need to be decided during a case – such as child custody, parenting time, spousal maintenance, or property division.  Clients often have specific questions about these categories and what may or may not be relevant to their situation. Third, the consultation allows you to get to know someone and see if it is a good fit for legal work.  One of the most important aspects of a consultation is the opportunity for you to meet a potential attorney and see if you will be comfortable working with them. Your attorney is your guide. You may cry or express anger in front of this person – you need to feel comfortable doing so. In addition to legal adeptness and zealous advocacy, you also must be comfortable and trust your attorney. This is perhaps the most important element of the relationship. You should know that when you are just meeting an attorney for a consultation, the attorney cannot give you legal advice or answer legal questions with certainty. Because the consulting attorney does not have a client relationship, you and your spouse could meet with the attorney together. This is often a good way for you both to hear information together. When you receive the same message, you often feel less adversarial and more like you are both seeking a guide for the process. Please contact a collaborative attorney for a free consultation to learn more about your options.
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An amicable separation and divorce can sometimes become strained when new relationships start.  New significant others often cause new emotional reactions that can subsequently impact parenting. In order to preemptively address the problems that can arise when new relationships start, in collaborative divorce, we often come up with parameters to address significant others. Here are some potential options to consider when thinking about agreements on significant others.  Any or all may be included in a parenting plan.
  • One option is to not allow the children to be introduced to any significant others without agreement of the other parent.
  • Sometimes parents like to have a period of time (such as six months or one year) after the divorce is final when no significant other shall be introduced to the children.
  • An introduction to a significant other may only occur when a neutral parenting expert (such as a child specialist in the collaborative divorce process) recommends that it is appropriate to do so.
  • Parents often keep some aspirational language in the decree such as: “Both parents understand that it is in the best interest of the children to support the children’s relationship with any long-term significant other of the other parent and shall make all reasonable efforts to do so.”
There are a number of ways to address significant others in the parenting plan. Indeed, some work on the front end, can help prevent significant stress and strain later.  Talk to a collaborative professional to learn more.
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0In his book The Four Agreements, author Don Miguel Ruiz articulates four principles which, when regularly practiced, will enable people to avoid conflict and live a peaceful life. The agreements one makes with oneself are: 1.  I will be impeccable with my word. 2.  I will not personalize anything another person says, does, thinks or believes. 3.  I will make no assumptions. 4.  I will do my best today. I teach my Collaborative clients about The Four Agreements and encourage them to read the book while we are creating their parenting plan.  I help them recognize when their words or actions contradict an Agreement and get in the way of problem solving.  I believe these are core concepts not only for effective interest-based negotiation, but for living a centered life. One of the most difficult agreements to follow is not making assumptions.  When two people live together in intimate circumstances, they pick up many cues about each other.  Humans are wired to read cues and reach conclusions.  Problems can arise if the conclusions are inaccurate or incomplete, especially if the conclusions are not checked out with the other person. This is especially the case when people are in conflict and already feeling mistrustful of each other, as is so often the case with divorce. In a recent client meeting while discussing a sensitive co-parenting issue, I observed both parents making assumptions, and then getting into an argument about their assumptions.  One parent assumed the other had become too absorbed with his own needs and was not taking steps to monitor their middle school-aged son’s homework and school progress during his parenting time.  The other parent assumed the first parent had made disparaging remarks about him to their son during her parenting time. Both were responding to their son’s recent drop in grades and negative attitude.  By making assumptions instead of asking questions, parents entered into a blame game that only served to escalate tensions and distract them from effectively understanding and addressing their son’s difficulties. When I was able to talk with their son, I learned he was feeling overwhelmed by the demands of taking three honors courses while also dealing with the stress of the divorce and being on an elite soccer team (which he loved).  He felt he was letting his parents down, especially his dad, and this made him edgy and irritable.  With this feedback, parents were able to move away from their inaccurate assumptions, reframe their understanding of their son’s behaviors and, as co-parents, take appropriate steps to help reduce his stress.