Don’t Miss Minnesota’s Biggest and Best Family Law Event!
Schedule:
Date: March 24 & 25, 2025
Location: Saint Paul RiverCentre
CLI MN is a a sponsor and Exhibitor of the 2025 Family Law Institute. Be sure and stop by the CLI booth!
Don’t Miss Minnesota’s Biggest and Best Family Law Event!
Schedule:
Date: March 24 & 25, 2025
Location: Saint Paul RiverCentre
CLI MN is a a sponsor and Exhibitor of the 2025 Family Law Institute. Be sure and stop by the CLI booth!
Exclusively for IACP members, this meeting offers a dynamic forum for current and aspiring practice group leaders, as well as anyone passionate about enhancing their group’s experience. We’ll explore key trends in membership, share successes, and discuss the latest developments in the legislative landscape.
Schedule:
Date: February 4, 2025
Time: 1:00 – 2:00 PM CT
Questions?
Dolores Puppione | info@collaborativepractice.com
IACP Senior Manager of Membership Operations
Consider adding this multi-disciplinary, comprehensive course to your 2025 Professional Development plan. This transformative training is built on the innovative strategies of Parent Team, a company focused on developing resources for professionals to support two-home families.
The Certified Parent Team Expert™ Training will equip both novice and experienced professionals with actionable strategies and tools to navigate high-complexity situations, enhance outcomes and grow your practice.
Schedule:
February – May 2025 (Tuesday and Thursday 11am to 1pm MT)
Recorded Zoom Calls so you can join live or later
Questions? CLICK HERE to be redirected to the Parent Team Expert Training home page.
What is included in the training:
The CLI MN East Metro Group invites you to join their Happy Hour on Thursday June 13 from 4 – 6:30 pm
I have a prediction: In the next twenty years, Collaborative Divorce will become the standard for divorce process in Minnesota.
In my nine years as a family law attorney, the majority of my cases have been “traditional” in nature. Traditional in this sense means that the process of divorce starts with a petitioner spouse who serves a summons and petition upon the respondent spouse. The divorce is either settled along the way or it is litigated all the way to trial. Sprinkled in for the past five years have been Collaborative Divorce cases, in which both spouses choose to work with a Collaboratively trained team (comprised of two attorneys and sometimes a neutral child or financial specialist) and to resolve their divorce in an out-of-court setting. Both processes end with a divorce, but one often results in collateral damage resulting from unchecked animosity and litigation, often referred to as the “scorched earth” approach.
Most family law attorneys with whom I have spoken really dislike these scorched earth cases. Some attorneys are complicit in these cases for myriad reasons. These difficult cases, which take place with heavy court involvement, place a tremendous burden on families, on attorneys, and on the courts. Every case that is filed (and that is not In Forma Pauperis) requires the same filing fee to pay for case oversight. Some cases require only that a judge reviews and signs the final divorce decree, while others languish in courts for years, as court staff oversees countless motions, counter-motions, requests for phone calls, letter submissions, etc.
Many family law practitioners grow weary of endless divorce litigation. Of unpleasant and over-aggressive attorneys (we all have our own “no-fly” list). Of client despair (“So you’re telling me I might as well give up?!”). Of not being paid. This work is emotionally taxing. There is seldom follow-up with clients after a case concludes, even those whom we genuinely like. After all, who wants to hear from the one person most closely related to the end of their marriage (aside from their ex) after the waters calm? Who among us has ever felt concerned about personal safety after working a particularly difficult case involving one party with anger management problems (and possibly an affinity for firearms?)
Yet family law practice has its rewards. Family attorneys have unique skills: we are insightful and often empathetic. We excel at interpersonal communication. We are problem solvers. At our best, we are a helping profession: acting as a guide to clients who are in the dark and often feeling very vulnerable. It is an honor to help our clients through family-related legal problems. The best way to serve our clients is by helping them to preserve their dignity and to make decisions in a way that will not cause them to feel shame or regret years after their matter is concluded. While it is not impossible to have a good family law matter in a traditional context, it is never a guarantee. Cases that start out smoothly can easily become derailed by one misstep: an e-mail that struck the wrong tone (often unintentionally). A poorly timed request. A genuine misunderstanding of intention. I myself am guilty of misunderstanding and missteps.
I have known many family law attorneys who either stopped practicing law entirely or pivoted to another practice area mid-career. Something obviously needs to change and I believe a sea change is indeed coming. I sense that the tide is turning in favor of extended ADR and Collaborative Divorce instead of the nuclear approach that takes a pound flesh from all involved (especially the poor children in these scorched earth cases).
As our Collaborative community continues to grow, I am seeing more and more thoughtful practitioners and many younger attorneys attracted to this process that asks everyone to show up in good faith: attorneys, neutrals, and clients alike. Some matters should not be routed into the Collaborative model. Obvious exceptions from Collaborative practice include matters involving domestic violence, coercive control, and unacknowledged addictions. Most families, however, would benefit from the approach that creates a space for active listening, understanding, and slowing down when needed.
If you are reading this and you find yourself battle-fatigued from traditional family law practice or if you are curious about Collaborative practice, I hope you will take some time to reach out and learn about this unique and wonderful multi-disciplinary community of professionals committed to serving families with excellence and integrity.
I hope to still be practicing family law in 20 years; if I am, I know it will be because I have pared down my traditional family law practice considerably and have prioritized Collaborative practice and other forms of ADR. I will revisit this blog entry and muse on the state of family law practice in Minnesota in 2043, I am certain, with gratitude and hope for families in Minnesota.
Rebecca Randen is a family law attorney and mediator. She practices Collaborative and traditional family law and is based out of Edina, Minnesota. Rebecca speaks Spanish and has represented many Spanish-speaking clients. Rebecca is serving her third year on the CLI Board of Directors and is serving as Board President through the end of 2023.
Rebecca Randen is a family law attorney and mediator. She practices Collaborative and traditional family law and is based out of Edina, Minnesota. Rebecca speaks Spanish and has represented many Spanish-speaking clients. Rebecca is serving her third year on the CLI Board of Directors and is serving as Board President through the end of 2023.
Attorney/Mediator
Randen, Chakirov & Grotkin LLC
rebecca@rcglawoffice.com | rcglawoffice.com
Every December our Collaborative community has a wonderful opportunity to gather for our Annual Forum.
The Forum is a time and place to connect with colleagues, become informed and educated about important professional topics, regenerate our passion and enthusiasm for our Collaborative work, and have fun!
You won’t want to miss this opportunity. We so look forward to seeing you and hope you will join us!
Event Details:
What: CLI Minnesota Forum 2023
Theme: Creativity in Collaborative Practice
Dates & Times:
Thursday, December 7, 2023
8:30 AM – 4:15 PM Educational sessions, time with exhibitors
3:15 PM Special Breakout session for students and non-member professionals to learn more about Collaborative Practice.
4:15 PM Happy Hour
6:00 PM Dinner
7:30 PM AJW Fun Factor
Friday, December 8, 2023
8:30 AM – 12:00 PM Annual Meeting, educational sessions
Full Agenda: Click here
Location: InterContinental Saint Paul Riverfront Hotel |11Kellogg Blvd. East, Saint Paul, MN 55101
Menu:
BREAKFAST BOTH DAYS: Continental
LUNCH THURSDAY: Sandwich Shop Buffet:
DESSERT BUFFET: Cookies and bars
HAPPY HOUR APPETIZERS and CASH BAR
DINNER: Baby Beet and Arugula Salad with Candied Walnuts: Creamy Goat Cheese, Citrus, Orange-Vanilla Vinaigrette.
Choice of:
Sautéed Salmon | Paella Rice, Meyer Lemon Sabayon
Seared Chicken | Natural Pan Sauce, Smoked Gouda Mashed Potato
Butternut Squash Ravioli | Mascarpone Sage Cream Sauce, Sauteed Spinach, Balsamic Reduction
Dessert: Lemon Tart
Cost:
CLI members must login to their online account to receive member pricing.
ALL PACKAGES WITH HOTEL ROOMS ARE SOLD OUT.
PLEASE REGISTER WITOUT HOTEL AND CONTACT THE HOTEL DIRECTLY FOR AVAILABILITY OF A ROOM.
Both Days, with overnight, with dinner: SOLD OUT
Both days, no overnight, with dinner:
Includes both Thursday & Friday
Includes Thursday Lunch & Dinner
Includes Thursday Evening Entertainment
Member: $375
Non-member: $450
Both days, no overnight, no dinner:
Includes both Thursday & Friday
Includes Thursday Lunch
Includes Thursday Evening Entertainment
Member: $350
Non-member: $425
Thursday only, with overnight, with dinner: SOLD OUT
Thursday only, no overnight, with dinner:
Includes Thursday
Includes Thursday Lunch & Dinner
Includes Thursday Evening Entertainment
Member: $225
Non-member: $300
Thursday only, no overnight, no dinner:
Includes Thursday
Includes Thursday lunch
Member: $175
Non-member: $250
Thursday dinner only
Member: $50
Non-member: $75
Friday Only:
Includes Friday
Member: $100
Non-member: $175
Continuing Education: (See agenda for specific credits)
CLE: Standard (X) credits pending
LMFT & MN Board of Psychology: Standard credits (X) pending
LICSW & ADR: A self-filing certificate will be provided (X possible)
Special Breakout Session for Students and Family Law Professionals
Thursday 3:15 PM | CLICK HERE TO RSVP FOR THIS SESSION ONLY
A special opportunity for Students and non-member professionals interested in learning about Collaborative Practice.
Registrants for this special session are invited to stay for the networking happy hour following the informational session, and for the add-on cost of $30, stay for dinner.
Cost for Students and non-CLI member professionals to attend the
3:15 PM Breakout Session:
Attend the 3:15 Breakout Session & happy hour: $0
Dinner add-on: $30
Deadlines, Cancellations, Parking:
-Deadline for registration with a hotel room is November 24.
-We can only guarantee an overnight room at the Hotel for the first 35 registrants, so please register EARLY!
-The deadline for Forum registration without a hotel is November 28.
-Refunds for Forum registration cancellation will be processed if notice of cancellation is received on or before November 17.
-While the room rate is included in the Forum attendance fee, attendees will be responsible for incidental charges to their reserved room.
-Hotel check-in is 3PM. Luggage may be checked with the valet.
-Check-out time is 11AM.
-Parking: Parking is available through the valet service at prevailing rates or nearby surface lots.
Agenda: Click here
Sponsorship Packages available Click here
Sponsors Supporting the CLI Mission and Forum 2023
Annual Platinum Partner
Rainbow Mortgage, Inc. www.rainbowmortgageinc.com | Dave Jamison
Annual Gold Partners
OurFamilyWizard www.ourfamilywizard.com | Racheal Howitz
Keller Williams Integrity Realty www.pickle.properties | Lisa Proechel
The Prudden Company www.pruddencompany.com | Amber Tyrrell
Annual Silver Sponsors
Baker Vicchiollo Law LLC www.mnlaw.us | Jolene Baker Vicchiollo
CrossCountry Mortgage, LLC www.crosscountrymortgage.com/brett-leschinsky Brett Leschinsky
Edina Realty www.edinarealty.com/jennifer-morris-realtor# | Jennifer Morris
Sponsors Supporting the Forum 2023
Forum Breakfast Sponsor
The Katallasso Group www.thekatallassogroup.com | Lisa Welter
Forum Lunch Sponsor
Cultivating Joy www.cultivatingjoycoach.com | Jillian Lydell
Forum Dessert Sponsor
Family Law Software www.familylawsoftware.com| Nancy Shafer
Forum Charging Station
Alerus Mortgage www.RandiLivon.com | Randi Livon
Forum Materials Packet
Lear Appraisals, LLC learappraisals@popp.net | Bob Lear
Forum Happy Hour Sponsor
Thomson Reuters www.ThomsonReuters.com | Ryan Tauer & Steve Stauff
Forum Evening Social Sponsor
AJW Financial, Inc. www.ajwfinancial.com | Amy Wolff
I hope that young children were not still up and watching the *Academy Awards broadcast when Will Smith got out of his seat, walked up the concourse, and forcefully slapped Chris Rock for making a poor joke at the expense of his wife Jada Pinkett Smith. But even if children didn’t watch it live, they are likely still being exposed to the ongoing coverage and analysis of this startling event on social media and mainstream media. Disagreement abounds over which man was most in the wrong. Some posters and oped writers try to justify each man’s actions. There have been thoughtful critiques about toxic masculinity in our culture, and how it inevitably leads to violence of one kind or another.
Many believe Chris Rock was bullying Jada Pinkett Smith by publicly mocking her bald head, especially given her alopecia. Some respond that comedians insulting celebrities at “star-studded events” and roasts has become something of the norm and is to be expected. Some say Will Smith’s retaliation was also bullying behavior, since Smith was trained to box like a professional for the film Ali and is much bigger and stronger than Rock. But others respond that his response was justified to “protect” his wife. (I confess, I thought Pinkett Smith’s grimace of disgust and exaggerated eye roll at the weak joke was a pretty potent response in and of itself).
What does this whole event model for our children, who emulate adult behavior? Is mocking others, especially for things they can’t control, ever justified? Does saying “Just kidding!” after a cruel remark make it okay? Should bystanders go along by joining the mocking laughter, or do they have a responsibility to call out bullying behavior?
Is lashing out aggressively after a perceived put-down ever justified? Does being “in the heat of the moment and not thinking clearly” make an impulsive violent response, okay? Should bystanders go along by saying nothing, or do they have a responsibility to call out violent behavior?
What does this event say about how women and girls should expect to be treated? In the Me Too era, a time when native women have disappeared in shocking numbers, when human trafficking and domestic violence are still huge social problems, we know that women do need the strong protection of laws and social norms. Is this kind of protection the same or different than what happened at the Oscars?
If you haven’t already, I encourage you to watch the documentary “When We Were Bullies.” This film was also featured briefly at the Academy Awards as a nominee for best short documentary. Ellen Bruno, the creator of the masterful film Split about the children of divorce was a creative consultant for this film, which is extremely well done. It focuses on a 5th grade bullying incident and the lingering effects, 50 years later, on those who participated. Like this essay, it raises important questions and examines context and perspective, but does not aim for simplistic resolutions.
As parents and adults who care about children, we need to have open conversations with them, and ask curious questions about bullying behavior vs. respectful behavior and the difference between control and power. We need to ask ourselves what it really means to create safety for others, and what responsibility we all share when safety is violated. And we need to always be aware that the most powerful tool in the adult toolkit is modeling the behavior we want our children to emulate and taking responsibility rather than blaming others for any time we (as humans) fall off the high road.
*Since this article was written, Will Smith has apologized publicly for his inexcusable behavior at the Academy Awards ceremony. He has been banned from the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences and the Awards ceremony for 10 years.
Author: Deborah Clemmensen, M.Eq., L.P. is a Neutral Child and Family Specialist in
Collaborative Practice and Family Law
deborah.clemmensen@gmail.com
Thirty years ago, in 1990, a family lawyer in Minneapolis named Stu Webb had an idea. He thought the idea was good enough to share with the Minnesota Supreme Court Justice at the time, “Sandy” Keith. Stu’s letter of February 14, 1990, to Chief Justice Keith starts out:
Dear Sandy,
I met you at a party . . . several years ago.
Stu did not even know Sandy Keith! But undaunted, Stu plows ahead:
I think I’ve come up with a new wrinkle that I’d like to share with you. One of the aspects of mediation that I feel is a weakness is that it basically leaves out input by the lawyer at the early stages [of the mediation process]. . .. By that I don’t mean adversarial, contentious lawyering, but the analytical, reasoned ability to solve problems and generate creative alternatives and create a positive context for settlement.
…[Y]ou and I have both experienced, I’m sure, those occasional times, occurring usually by accident, when in the course of attempting to negotiate a family law settlement, we find ourselves in a conference with the opposing counsel, and perhaps the respective clients, where the dynamics were such that in a climate of positive energy, creative alternatives were presented. In that context, everyone contributed to a final settlement that satisfied all concerned—and everyone left the conference feeling high energy, good feelings and satisfaction. More than likely, the possibility for a change in the way the parties related to each other in the future may have greatly increased. As a result, the lawyers may also develop a degree of trust between them that might make future dealings more productive.
So, my premise has been: Why not create this settlement climate deliberately? . . . I would do this by creating a coterie of lawyers who would agree to take cases . . . for settlement only. . . . I call the attorney in this settlement model a collaborative attorney, practicing in that case collaborative law.
This little history might end here but Chief Justice Sandy Keith did respond to Stu’s letter(!!):
Dear Stu,
Many thanks for one of the most thoughtful letters I have received these past months. Congratulations . . . on the model you are setting up in the family law area. . . . I know it will be successful. . . . I think you have thought it through better than most attorneys and I think it is a very valid model in the family law area.
Both Stu Webb and Sandy Keith were pioneers in family law practice. Sandy was a pioneer in using a mediation process in family law; Stu was a pioneer in creating a collaborative process in family law. Thanks to them, out-of-court processes—mediation and collaboration—are benefiting clients all over the world. Sandy Keith—former Minnesota Supreme Court Justice, former Lieutenant Governor, former State Senator, and former family law attorney—died October 3, 2020. His support of the Collaborative process is not forgotten.
Footnote from Stu Webb, 10/6/20:
Here is the link to the Star Tribune Obituary of Sandy Keith, who died last Saturday, October 3 at 91! I could say that Sandy is responsible for releasing Collaborative Law to the world! In 1990, when I self-questioned the credibility of the concept, I wrote him a letter describing the process and, essentially, highlighting some potential advantages of it over mediation (which was his former practice specialty!) Instead of defensively ‘shooting it down’, he Immediately sent a short note back, basically saying ‘wonderful, go for it’! And years later, I had the honor of participating in a Collaborative Law case with him in my home office! WHAT A GUY!!
Star Tribune Obituary \Sandy Keith: https://www.startribune.com/sandy-keith-former-minnesota-supreme-court-chief-justice-dies/572638202/
About The AuthorTonda Mattie, has been a Family Law attorney for over 40 years and has practiced exclusively Collaborative Family Law since 2006. She has been involved in the Collaborative Law movement since 1992. She has been past President and past Co-President of the Collaborative Law Institute (CLI) of Minnesota. She has headed the CLI Training Committee as chair or co-chair since 2004. She is engaged in the practice of her dreams using a collaborative process that 1) allows good people to be their best despite the crisis they are in; 2) is centered on the well-being of the children; 3) creates a safe environment for difficult conversations; 4) focuses on the future rather than on blame and past grievances; 5) identifies and meets the needs and interests of all family members; 6) empowers parties to control and create their own mutual settlement; and 7) creates a climate in which healing can begin to occur. Visit her website at www.mndivorce.com