Bonus Families – The Best Way to View Divorce

by | Nov 24, 2015 | Children in Divorce, Collaborative Law, Uncategorized | 1 comment

The viral video of a father reaching out to his ex-Wife’s new husband, his daughter’s stepdad, and asking him to join him and walk their daughter down the aisle has had a huge impact. It has been shared millions of times. I have noticed a number of my social media friends and colleagues sharing this video. The comments seem to fall into two categories.  First, for divorced parents or children of divorce, many look at this video as a painful reminder of how horrible divorce can be. Many have memories of the strain and tension between their parents after divorce or cannot imagine ever having a connection with an exes new partner. Others see this video as recognition of the new face of divorce.  Divorce can be healthy and can lead to new families that are, in many ways, stronger and healthier than they were before.  Bonus parents or step parents can be wonderful additions to a child’s life. I see these stories all the time.  I am a collaborative attorney dedicated to helping families divorce in better ways.  I hear stories of clients all the time having better relationships with their co-parent after a divorce. Like this mother who wrote a letter to her daughter’s future step-mother or this lovely New York Times article about two divorced parents vacationing together — this can be the new face of divorce. The collaborative law process allows for creative and respectful outcomes – it keeps the children at the very center of everything and helps families thrive. Social media is drawn to thee stories because people crave these types of outcomes and want a better future after divorce.  Collaborative law provides these types of resolutions and more and more peaceful extended families.

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