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When Minnesota couples choose Collaborative Divorce, they are choosing a process designed to resolve divorce without court, without escalation, and without unnecessary financial damage. At the center of this process is a role many people have never heard of—but one that often makes a significant difference in long-term outcomes: the Financial Neutral. A Financial Neutral does not advocate for one spouse over the other. Instead, the role is to provide objective, forward-looking financial guidance so both individuals can make informed decisions that support long-term stability. Many Financial Neutrals hold advanced credentials such as Certified Divorce Financial Analyst® (CDFA®) and Certified Financial Planner™ (CFP®), bringing a deeper level of financial insight to the collaborative process.

In Minnesota, Collaborative Divorce is a voluntary, non-litigation process where each spouse retains their own collaboratively trained attorney, a Financial Neutral is jointly engaged, and in many cases a parenting or mental health professional is included to support communication and family dynamics. Everyone involved commits to resolving issues outside of court. The Financial Neutral works for the process—not for either party—providing unbiased financial analysis, translating complex financial information into clear and understandable options, ensuring transparency and accuracy, and keeping the focus on long-term outcomes rather than short-term positioning.

The role of the Financial Neutral becomes especially important in gray divorce, which continues to rise across Minnesota. For couples over 50, financial decisions often carry permanent consequences. Many are navigating retirement that is already underway or approaching, pensions, 401(k)s, IRAs, and Social Security benefits, as well as long-held real estate and healthcare considerations such as Medicare and insurance transitions. A Financial Neutral helps couples understand not just how assets are divided, but how each decision impacts lifetime income, taxes, and long-term financial independence.

Within the collaborative process, the Financial Neutral brings clarity to complex financial decisions by preparing clear summaries of assets and debts, developing post-divorce cash flow and budget projections, and presenting side-by-side settlement scenarios. This allows both spouses to work from the same set of information and make decisions based on facts rather than fear. In Minnesota, where equitable division does not always mean equal and equal does not always lead to equal outcomes, the Financial Neutral plays a critical role in evaluating retirement sustainability, Social Security strategies, tax implications, and long-term healthcare costs. The focus is not simply on dividing assets, but on ensuring both individuals can maintain financial stability after the divorce.

Because the Financial Neutral is jointly retained, the process often reduces conflict, time, and overall cost. There is one shared financial analysis, fewer outside experts are needed, and less time is spent disputing numbers. This can significantly reduce legal fees and improve efficiency for both spouses. Just as importantly, the Financial Neutral supports better decision-making during what is often a stressful and emotional transition. By slowing the process enough to allow for thoughtful and informed decisions, the Financial Neutral helps ensure outcomes are aligned with long-term goals, which is particularly important in long-term marriages.

Collaborative Divorce in Minnesota is a team-based approach. The Financial Neutral works alongside collaboratively trained family law attorneys, and often with mental health or communication professionals, to support both spouses together. This integrated model helps align legal, financial, and emotional considerations so they work together rather than in opposition. As a result, many Minnesota couples choose Collaborative Divorce because it preserves assets that might otherwise be spent on litigation, encourages transparency and trust, allows for customized solutions rather than court-imposed outcomes, and supports respectful communication throughout the process.

Divorce does not have to be a financial battle. With the right structure and professional support, it can be a carefully planned transition. A Financial Neutral helps clarify complex financial decisions, reduce unnecessary conflict and cost, protect retirement and long-term financial security, and support informed, durable agreements. For many Minnesota families, Collaborative Divorce offers a respectful, non-litigation path forward that honors both the financial and emotional realities of divorce.

If you are considering divorce in Minnesota and want to better understand how Collaborative Divorce or mediation works—especially from a financial perspective—a conversation can be a helpful place to start. You don’t need to have everything figured out. You just need a place to begin. If it feels helpful, you’re welcome to schedule a confidential conversation to explore your options.

About the Author

Michelle Leisen, CFP®, CDFA® is the founder of Divorce Smart and a member of the Minnesota Collaborative Law Institute. With over 27 years of experience in financial planning and investment management, she serves as a Financial Neutral in Collaborative Divorce, helping couples navigate complex financial decisions with clarity and confidence. Michelle brings a thoughtful, client-centered approach, translating financial details into practical options that support long-term stability—especially in gray divorce. She holds a degree from the University of Minnesota and attended William Mitchell School of Law.

Michelle Leisen, CDFA®, CFP®
Mediator, Financial Neutral
Divorce Smart LLC
michelle@wealthplanninggroupmn.com | 612-419-9956
https://www.mydivorcesmart.com

 

 

 

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Child Inclusive Mediation is a process that allows children to have a voice in the divorce process.  In Child Inclusive Mediation, divorcing parents and their attorneys bring in two professionals, one an experienced mediator, and the other a trained mental health professional that has experience working with children.  That mental health professional will meet with the child or children of the divorcing parents, separately and one-on-one with the child, and outside of the mediation process.  That mental health professional then attends the mediation, along with the mediator, divorcing parents, and parents’ attorneys.  At the mediation, the mental health professional shares what he or she learned from speaking with the children about how they are navigating the divorce, the good things they experience at each parent’s house, the concerns they have at each parent’s house, and their hopes and desires for what the best schedule looks like to them.  The parties and the mediator, along with their attorneys, then mediate to seek a resolution that is in their child’s or children’s best interests, based on the information shared from the mental health professional.

While children do not make decisions about a parenting plan, rather parents do, a child’s voice can have strong weight as to what schedule will be implemented by parents.  Often parents are not aware of their own child’s wishes or desires, either because the parent hasn’t heard the child express them, or because the child is afraid to express them out of fear of hurting a parent.  The Child Inclusive Mediation can be a safe place for the child to share his or her feelings, without having to confront a parent or tell a parent directly.

Often parents ask, “well when can my child have a voice?” or “how old does my child have to be before he or she gets a say in parenting time?”.  Minnesota Statutes do not provide a bright line strict age for when children get a say in parenting time, but there is a general consensus that once a child reaches teenage years (13), that child is generally of sufficient age to express a preference.  Expression of a preference does not equate to that is what will be implemented by parents or the Court, but it can be a strong guiding hand.  And certainly the older a child gets, and the closer they are to emancipation (16/17), the stronger that voice will be heard.

In the Collaborative Law practice, the parents make a commitment to stay out of Court.  By engaging in Child Inclusive Mediation in the Collaborative Law practice, the parents are making a commitment to stay out of court and to allow their teenage child or children to have a voice in how their daily life looks, given their age.  Child Inclusive Mediation provides a safe place for children’s voices to be heard, without parents questioning or confronting their child or children.  Parents can then use that information to come up with a parenting time schedule and parenting plan that can put their child or children on the best path to success as a young adult, through emancipation, and beyond into adulthood.

Reach out to a Collaborative Law attorney for a consultation to begin your journey in the Collaborative Law practice and inquire about child inclusive mediation.

About the Author

Laura Schultz was admitted to practice law in the State of Minnesota in 2006 and has been practicing family law for 20 years.  After clerking for a Judge in the Hennepin County District Court for three years from 2006 to 2009, she joined Tuttle Bergeson, P.A. in 2009 as an associate attorney practicing in the areas of family law and estate planning.  After working as an associate at the firm for five years, Laura went into solo practice in 2014, forming the Laura L. Schultz Law Office.

Laura is a member of the Collaborative Law Institute of Minnesota, International Academy of Collaborative Professionals, Minnesota State Bar Association, and the ARAG network of attorneys. Laura is also a member of Bloomington Rotary, Edina Federated Women’s Club, and the Edina Chamber of Commerce.

Laura’s primary focus of practice is family law.  Laura believes that amicable resolution of issues is often possible, with the client being empowered to make decisions.  In the event that litigation is necessary, Laura is an experienced litigator that has tried many cases to successful resolution.  However, families that engage in the Collaborative Law Practice predict to have children that have healthier lifestyles and less mental health issues later in life.

Every case is required to go through a type of alternative dispute resolution.  Laura is a Rule 114 Qualified Neutral, meaning she is qualified to perform Mediation and Early Neutral Evaluation of family law matters.  Laura is also a Parenting Consultant and Parenting Time Expeditor, helping families resolve their disputes after their divorce or separation as co-parents.

Laura Schultz, Esq.
Attorney
Laura L. Schultz Law Office
Laura@LauraSchultzLaw.com | (763) 333-2525
www.lauraschultzlaw.com

 

 

 

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“Can you refer me to a good family law attorney?” is a common question.  Thinking about this question, I often wonder what people mean when they say “good family law attorney?”  If you ask an attorney in a large firm, they often refer people to attorneys in large firms (their own if they have that practice group).  Large firm attorneys often know other large firm attorneys.  Does that mean they are “good”?  Ask yourself what “good” means to you, before you ask that question.

There are attorneys who do a lot of in-court litigation in family law.  Does that mean they are good?  It depends.  There are attorneys who do mainly out-of-court divorce work, like mediation, Collaborative divorce, or settlement focus.  Does that mean they are good?  Again, it depends.  Family law attorneys are supposed to talk to clients about all their process options.  Interestingly, some clients I have met with who have also met with other attorneys indicate that the other attorney only talked about the traditional court process, said little about mediation, and never spoke about the Collaborative process.  Attorneys who don’t talk about other options might do that for a variety of reasons.  Maybe they don’t practice Collaborative divorce and therefore can’t speak about it clearly or thoroughly.  Maybe they derive energy in the court process and see all divorce matters in the same light.  Maybe they are working in a system that does not reward settlement and fewer billable hours on a case-by-case basis.  Many attorneys start consultations like they are getting all the facts and can start making a legal analysis before they even understand what their potential client’s goals are.

When looking for a good family law attorney, pay attention to how they make you feel, if they are interested in you and what matters to you, or whether they seem to have a predisposition for “fighting”, “protecting”, “winning at the expense of”, or seem to be formulaic about process (i.e., “the first things we need to do is serve papers” or “go take half of the balance in the accounts and transfer it to your own account”, etc.)  There is a difference between having empathy for someone’s situation and feeding a fire and ultimately the conflict.  Are they curious?  Do they ask questions about your priorities, concerns, needs and fears?  Ask you what you want your process to look like or not look like?  Do they ask thoughtful questions about your children?  Do you notice that you feel relaxed and more at ease than you expected or do you feel tense and on edge?  Talking about their trial record may not be the best factor to base your decision on unless you already know that things will be challenging because your spouse is vengeful, litigious, righteous, abusive, inflexible, or other characteristics that mean it will be a fight.

Just because you are starting a divorce, does not mean that it needs to be a fight with someone winning and someone loosing.  A good attorney starts by listening, being curious and understanding what is most important to you.  And what is most important might not even be about specific legal outcomes.  Many people want their kids to come out of the divorce unscathed, want the ability to co-parent, be happy and not totally stressed out for the next  number of months or year during the process.  Or people want to have a better sense of cost rather than a blank check into the world of divorce court.  Many people want to know they will be ok emotionally, financially, and feel good about the settlement and not carry resentment about the outcomes and process.  Divorce is hard enough as it is and the process does not need to make it worse.  And who you choose to work with and how they approach their work can make a significant difference about how your divorce goes and how much it costs.

So, ask questions like:

  • What is your favorite part of your job or do you like your work?
  • Why do you practice family law?
  • How often do you go to trial or settle cases well in advance of trial (not on the court steps)?
  • How do you support client self-determination?
  • If you know who your spouse’s attorney is, ask if they know them and how they work together?
  • How do you handle conflict in your cases?
  • How many cases have you had in the last 2 years go to trial or pre-trial?

Look for:

  • Honesty and sincerity
  • Empathy and compassion
  • Good listening skills
  • Creative problem solving
  • Promptness
  • Curiosity
  • Word choice and language can tell a lot about an attorneySo, once you know what qualities are important to you in your divorce process and your attorney, who is tending to the most important relational matter you will likely have, you may end up asking someone instead, “Do you know any family law attorneys who support effective co-parenting and minimizing conflict between spouses and understand that we are still a family system but in a different configuration?”  You may get a very different referral.  Ask the question about a good attorney that includes some qualifiers of what that means to you.  Or, find an attorney who practices Collaborative divorce, even if you end up not doing a formal Collaborative process.  They often believe in client self-determination and informed decision making and understand that you will still be a family system but in two homes.  And they tend to be responsive and timely in their work and value good working relationships with clients and the other attorney.  Take it from 20+ years of experience working with court focused attorneys and collaborative attorneys.  Check out this link to connect with collaborative professionals in Minnesota and find one that is right for you. https://collaborativelaw.org/find-a-professional-2/

About the Author

Louise Livesay-Al has been practicing family law, primarily in out-of-court process options, for over 20 years.  She worked for four years at the Minnesota Court of Appeals learning about family law and seeing the limits of the court system for families.  She works regularly with collaborative and non-collaborative attorneys and understands the benefits of working towards a mutually agreeable settlement for both people in the divorce and knows that kids usually fare better when parents reach a joint resolution rather than fighting it out.  Her firm, The Law Shop Minnesota, offers full representation, mediation, and a la carte services in family law.  Check out www.thelawshopmn.com and click “Get Started” to schedule a Shop Evaluation to learn more and create a plan for your future.

Louise Livesay-Al
Collaborative Attorney and Mediator
The Law Shop Minnesota
E: support@thelawshopmn.com | P: 651-344-6100
www.thelawshopmn.com

 

 

 

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In divorce agreements, it is common to see language such as:

“Spouse A shall refinance the mortgage within 90 days and remove Spouse B from liability.”

On paper, that sounds simple.

In practice, it often fails.

As mortgage professionals working alongside collaborative attorneys and financial neutrals, we regularly see well-intended refinance provisions unravel — not because someone refuses to cooperate, but because the refinance was never financially viable under lending guidelines.

The Most Common Reasons Divorce Refinances Fail

  1. Debt-to-Income Ratios Don’t Support the Loan

Post-divorce budgets differ dramatically from pre-divorce budgets.

Even if the payment appears affordable on a cash-flow worksheet, mortgage underwriting follows strict debt-to-income ratios that may produce a different result.

  1. Self-Employed Income Is Calculated Differently

This is one of the most misunderstood areas in divorce planning.

Attorneys and financial professionals often evaluate income based on gross business revenue or owner draws.

Mortgage underwriting does not.

For self-employed borrowers, we use:

  • Net income after expenses
  • Add-backs (when allowable under guidelines)
  • Two-year averages (in most cases)

This can significantly reduce qualifying income compared to what appears on a tax return summary or financial affidavit.

A refinance that seems feasible using gross income may not qualify when evaluated using underwriter-calculated net income.

  1. Support Income Is Not Yet Usable

For conventional and VA financing, lenders typically require:

  • A documented history of receipt (often six months)
  • Consistency
  • Three years of continuance from loan closing

If deadlines are set before those requirements are satisfied, the refinance may be structurally impossible.

  1. Equity and Reserve Requirements

Buyout structures increase loan balances.
Loan-to-value limits may restrict options.

Additionally, many programs require post-closing reserves. Asset division during divorce can unintentionally eliminate the liquidity required for approval.

The Collaborative Opportunity

Refinance provisions fail not because of bad intent — but because mortgage feasibility wasn’t analyzed early enough.

A pre-settlement underwriting review allows the team to:

  • Set realistic timelines
  • Structure viable buyouts
  • Identify alternative options
  • Avoid post-decree surprises

Case Study

We had a client that was getting ready to sign the divorce decree…it was a collaborative case.  The client sent the decree to me prior to signing.  Upon review we noticed that the total income would not support the refinance.   In this case the divorce client was also getting support payments for a total of 10 years.  We were not far off…the solution was to front end load some of the support payments and reduce the overall term of the payout.  The attorneys and the client reviewed the suggestion and were able to make the numbers work and the client was able to get the home refinanced and complete the divorce.

Mortgage strategy integrated early strengthens the durability of the final agreement.

About the Author

Dave Jamison is a divorce mortgage strategist and co-owner of Rainbow Mortgage Inc., an independent mortgage brokerage licensed in Minnesota, Florida, and North Dakota. With more than 26 years in residential lending—including 13 years as an underwriter for Fortune 500 mortgage institutions—Dave brings deep, practical expertise to complex divorce-related real estate matters.

What sets Dave apart is his underwriting foundation. Rather than approaching cases from a sales perspective, he evaluates them through the lens of how loans are actually approved—income calculations, debt ratios, reserve requirements, and documentation standards. This allows him to assess feasibility early in the divorce process, helping prevent refinance provisions that later fail and ensuring agreements align with real-world lending guidelines.

Dave and his wife, Gale, founded Rainbow Mortgage Inc. in 1999, initially serving borrowers with complex financial situations. In 2004, he began specializing in divorce mortgage planning, applying his expertise to support attorneys, mediators, and financial neutrals. Since then, he has spent more than two decades helping collaborative teams structure realistic refinance timelines, evaluate buyout options, and avoid post-decree mortgage breakdowns.

He is particularly skilled in analyzing self-employed income, support income, and multi-property scenarios—areas where legal and financial assumptions often diverge from underwriting standards. Known for his calm, direct, and non-adversarial approach, Dave provides clear, objective guidance that supports durable agreements.

David Jamison
Rainbow Mortgage, Inc.
E: dave@rainbowmortgageinc.com | Ph: 952-405-2090
www.RainbowMortgageInc.com