July in Minnesota is the best! The craziness of June slows a bit, and the summer, as we think of it here in the Midwest, kicks in to high-gear: it’s hot and humid, you have to constantly weed your garden, and the #1 thing to talk about is…the forecast, whether it’s good, bad, or just downright ugly. We spend as much time as we can outside, hold on to those last glimmers of sunlight at 9:30, and finally retire inside with rosy cheeks and shoulders from forgetting to reapply sunscreen. People are happier, Minnesota nice is even nicer, and there’s a palpable, upbeat energy everywhere you turn.
I have always loved the 4th of July holiday: growing up, it was a time to gather with friends, family, and neighbors, watch parades, slurp popsicles, run around in the sprinkler or slip ‘n’ slide, watch fireworks, and end the evening trying to catch fireflies. For many families, it’s time for an extended family reunion, or perhaps camping, boating on the river, fishing in one of our many lakes, or going up north to the family cabin.
Often, holiday traditions of one generation pass to the next, and it’s important to honor those traditions if they are important to you. If you are divorced, and a certain holiday holds special meaning, you can still carry out those traditions with your kids. There’s no law that says you have to equally share or alternate holidays. Obviously, if the holiday has special meaning to both parents, then share the time or alternate years. For some people, the 4th of July is a HUGE holiday; for others, Memorial Day weekend is THE summer holiday and kick-off to summer, while the 4th is more chill. An option, then is to exchange those holidays; rather, one parent always gets Memorial Day weekend and the other parent gets the 4th of July (it’s turned into a three-day weekend, even if it doesn’t fall on the weekend).
It’s easy to fall into the default, every-other-year holiday schedule, but that might not be the best idea. It might take a little time, but consider getting creative with the holiday schedule. The younger your kids are, the longer the parenting plan and holiday schedule will be in place. If you are mindful of the ages and stages of your kids and the holiday traditions of your family and your co-parent’s family, the holiday schedule could be a roadmap that helps with planning and organizing your life.
And if the 4th isn’t your thing and your kids are with your co-parent, then consider the early July holiday truly Independence Day.
About the Author
Audra practices exclusively in the area of conflict resolution, with an emphasis on Collaboration. She believes Collaboration works best for families with children to help them move forward and thrive. She helps her clients reframe and change their mindset about the divorce itself, so they can see it as a new beginning. When she’s not Zooming with colleagues and clients, you’ll likely find Audra cheering on her kids at a various sporting events.
Audra Holbeck, Attorney, Mediator
Holbeck Law
E: aholbeck@holbecklaw.com
Ph: 651-379-0330
Holbecklaw.com
